• reneeshian

A Letter to the Love of My Life

Dear Renee,

I am writing to you in hopes to shed even a glimpse of security and peace for your unique life. 2020 will be one of the most unforgettable years of your twenties and from that, I’d like to give you some wisdom to bring with you in 2021.

Now, you might be wondering why I am doing this; we connect all the time. However, this letter is a declaration of self-reflection. Honesty (brutal in some instances) is the forefront of this letter because I know how much that means that word means to you. And, with that in mind, let’s finally begin!

Firstly, I want to ask you the following: Are you creating boundaries or building up emotional walls towards others? You do not have to answer this right at this moment but do keep this in mind as you interact with your friends and family and romantic relationships. Even the relationships that extend outside your immediate support such as education and work. There are so many people who love and care about your wellbeing do not shut them out. Lean on others because secretly I know you want that and you deserve that. Renee, are you creating healthy boundaries for your well-being or are you unfamiliar receiving support and expressing vulnerability? Reflect on this, I only wish the best for you.

Overthinking. Girl, we’ve said many times that are overthinking is a strength and weakness, yet 2020 proved that the latter. This year, I want you to define, find the root where in our self-esteem we are lacking that allows us to think the worst in every scenario. I understand how tired and broken you are at times—I really do. I do not have all the answers but, I can attest that negativity should not take up so much space in your mind. Enjoy life for what it is and stand in your confidence. You hold more power than you realize.

With this current panoramic [see: pandemic], I implore you to keep on enjoying the little things in life, no matter how mundane they are. I know you love to wake up in the morning and wash your face; to FaceTime your cousin, to drink your morning tea and buss a wine listening to DJ Private Ryan’s Soca Starter 2015 on YouTube. Prioritize the little joys in life because you deserve it.

And finally, Renee Shian Baker (yes, I am pulling out the government). One last thought before I go. Growing up I know you’ve struggled being comfortable in your skin, the way your kinky hair spirals out of your scalp and, putting yourself first before the needs of others. From today onwards with everything that you accomplish in life, Renee, take care of yourself. You deserve the happiness that you see others manifest. Love yourself first and invest in yourself, because the woman I am today wouldn’t be the one who is full of love and dedication without the experiences I've had. You are not a token; you are of value and of worth.

I am so proud of the young women you are becoming. Moreover, I understand your frustrations and the encounters you face being a Black woman in this world. Since I am you, I pray that you can still find strength and keep pushing forward. And if you ever have any doubts: read this letter again and again.

Any who, I’ve rambled on too much, enjoy 2021 and live it up as much as you can! Take care and move forward in love.

Love you girl,